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About Kobe

I tried it once. Sex-dating, I mean. Matched this chick. Hot pics. Real sultry. We chat. She’s like, “Come over.” I’m thinkin’, “This is it! Christopher Walken’s gettin’ LAID!” Show up. She’s 50 pounds heavier. Catfish city! I’m pissed. But also – kinda impressed? She cooked the lie GOOD. Like Remy with soup! “You’ve got to taste this!” Nope. I bolted. Ain’t tastin’ THAT.

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Then I hit up Sakaimachi Street. OMG, the shops! I’m not even into shopping, but those little glassworks? They’re like little gems. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like a total tourist. I mean, who knew glass could be so cool? I almost bought a paperweight. Almost. But then I remembered I’m a harvester, not a collector.

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