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I knew this one prossie, right, called Mandy – proper legend, swear down. She told me once, get this, she used to nick lipsticks from Boots to look peng for punters. Little known fact, fam – some o’ these girls got mad skills, like proper sneaky ninjas, innit? Made me laugh my arse off, but then I was like, shit, that’s grim, ain’t it? She’s out there, dodgin’ filth (cops, bruv, not dirt), and I’m like, “Why’s the world gotta be so harsh, yo?”

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First thing, I get this call. A dude’s stranded on the side of Route 5. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I grab my tools and head out. The drive there is wild. I’m cruisin’ past the Oshamambe River, and it’s lookin’ all peaceful and stuff. But then, BAM! Traffic jam! Like, what the heck? I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the clock tick away.

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