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Oh, and the STD roulette—don’t get me started! Hookup culture’s like playin’ Russian roulette with your junk. Saw a guy last week, thought he’s “clean,” now he’s got chlamydia and a sob story. Wrap it up, idiots! Sex-dating’s a thrill, sure, but it’s a damn circus—clowns, freaks, and all. Love it, hate it, can’t quit it. What’s your take, huh? Bet you got a wild one too!

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Next, I wander over to the old merchant houses on the main street. They’re so cool, with their traditional wooden structures. I’m snapping pics, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You like Omihachiman?” And I’m like, “Heck yeah!” She starts telling me stories about the city. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m thinkin’, “This is the best!”

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