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Now, the funny bit – some call it “happy endin’” massage, pfft, so cheesy! I’d say it’s more like a sneaky rollercoaster – builds slow, then WHAM! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s my story! Oh, and get this – in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands” – sexual-massage joints with bubbles! Slippery as hell – Jack approves, maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – slidin’ into chaos!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on sobbing. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he just wanted to sign too but didn’t know how. My heart melted, y’know? So, I jumped in and started teaching him some basics. The crowd loved it! I felt like a rockstar for a hot minute.