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Oh, and the scams, bruv! Some dodgy profiles linkin’ to OnlyFans or worse – I clicked one, nearly got me bank rinsed. Stay woke, fam, cos these lot are crafty. Is it cos I is black I clocked it quick? Nah, just cos I ain’t a mug.

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So, I’m setting up, and this lady comes up to me. She’s all flustered, waving her hands like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, she’s the main speaker. And guess what? She forgot her notes. I mean, c’mon! How do you forget your notes for a speech? I was like, “No worries, I got your back.” But inside, I was like, “This is gonna be a train wreck.”