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Apps got me messed up, yo. Tinder, Bumble—straight chaos. One chick said, “I only bang on Thursdays.” What? Who schedules that? Got me heated, fam! Little known fact: back in ‘07, dudes used Craigslist for this. Sketchy as hell—serial killer vibes. Now it’s polished, but still a circus. Profiles be like, “I’m adventurous,” then they scared of spicy food. Lame.

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After some back and forth, I decide to let him go with a warning. I mean, it’s not like he’s a hardened criminal, right? Just a guy trying to make ends meet. I head back to the office, feeling all kinds of emotions. Happy I solved the case, but also frustrated with the whole situation.