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About Tokyo

Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—nah, it’s art. It’s history too! Did ya know ancient Chinese emperors got this shit to “balance their chi”? Freakin’ wild, right? I’m over here, picturin’ some dude in a robe gettin’ a happy endin’ for “spiritual health”—hilarious! Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ how humans been freaky forever. But yo, what pisses me off? These shady parlors givin’ it a bad rap—sleazy vibes ruin the magic. I’m like, “C’mon, man, this ain’t no back-alley scam!”

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Next, I get a call about a tree on Shimizu Street. Apparently, it’s leaning dangerously. I rush over, and wow, it’s worse than I thought. This thing looks like it’s about to topple over any second. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If this falls, it’s gonna crush someone’s car or worse!” So, I get to work, and let me tell ya, it’s a workout. I’m up there, chainsaw buzzing, and I’m just praying I don’t drop it.

No Man’s Sky Kicks off New Time-Limited Voyagers Expedition