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About Fukuoka

Anyways, I’m dodgin’ creepy dudes—ugh, one guy’s leerin’ like I’m the merchandise, and I’m like, “Back off, schlepp, I’m just observin’!” Made me so mad, I nearly whacked him with my purse—vintage Gucci, no less! But then, this one chick—gorgeous, total babe—she winks at me, and I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re too good for this!” Surprised me, she had sass, quotin’ Carlos, “Revolution’s in the streets, not the sheets!” I’m dyin’, laughin’—she’s a philosopher hooker, who knew?

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So, I get to this old cherry tree on Yamaguchi Street. It’s a beauty, but it’s been through some stuff. I’m up there, trimming branches, feeling like a ninja. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “What are you doing to my tree?!” I’m like, “Ma’am, I’m saving it!” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally giving it a haircut.

Floods hit northeastern Japan as major river bursts banks