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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars rollin’ up, protectin’ some big shot. Like in my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—y’know, “You ever count the stars?” vibes. Escorts got that quiet, watchful energy, like Brad Pitt’s Jesse, all cool and tense. I luv that! Makes me happy seein’ folks so slick, keepin’ it tight.

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Finally, I find a spot to charge my phone. I sit down, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s super nice, but she’s also super chatty. I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I’ve got financial planning to do!” But she’s telling me about her garden and how she grows the best tomatoes in Nyuzen. I’m nodding along, but my mind is racing.

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