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So, escort—man, it’s old as dirt! Didja know ancient Rome had these fancy ladies called “hetaerae”? Like, escorts with brains—poets, dancers, the whole shebang! Blows my square mind! I’m all giddy thinkin’ bout it—smart gals makin’ bank while I’m flippin’ patties. Makes me wanna yell, “Purity begins at home!” like in *Moolaadé*. ‘Cept, uh, escort ain’t exactly bout purity, right? Hehe, oh tartar sauce, I crack myself up!

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Both sexes were used, because no sex differences were noted for any strain (Data Supplement Table 1s). Shear stress was calculated as described elsewhere.

Then, I get a call from my mom. She’s in Numata too, visiting some shrine. She’s all excited, telling me about the beautiful cherry blossoms at the Numata Park. I’m like, “Mom, I’m stuck in the office!” But she’s so happy, I can’t help but smile.

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