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Oh, and the lingo? Russians say “poehat’ na seks” for a quick shag—crude, but cracks me up. Sex-dating’s like a game of chance—spin the wheel, might get a gem, might get a troll. Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once waited 3 hours for a date who never showed—felt like Rocket watchin’ his life fall apart, “The world’s unfair, man!” Total piss-take. Still, I’m hooked—keeps me sharp, like dodgin’ orcs in Mordor. What’s your take, eh? You swipin’ or nah?

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Next, I decided to hit up the Nonoichi City Hall. I had some paperwork to sort out. The line was insane! I mean, who knew getting a stamp could take forever? I was losing my mind. And the guy in front of me was on his phone, talking about his cat’s diet. Like, dude, I don’t care! But then, I overheard him say his cat’s name was “Neko-chan.” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

University students in Japanese city create app and pamphlet to help foreign residents