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So, this one time, I’m sprawled out, dim lights, some weird incense burnin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rub!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, muscles singin’! But then—BOOM—she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, tryna upsell me. Pissed me off! I ain’t no cash cow, lady! Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—ya think it’s chill, then WHAM, hidden chaos! “You’re a wild man, Tom,” she says—nah, I’m just tryna relax, not star in your porno!

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I hit up the Nishiwaki Shopping Street first. It’s like the heart of the city, ya know? All the cute little shops and food stalls. I was hyped to grab some of that famous Nishiwaki beef. But guess what? The stall was closed! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who closes at 10 AM? Ugh!

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