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Lemme tell ya, I saw this one gal once, real wild story—called herself Candy, swear ta God, had a tattoo of a lollipop right on her ass cheek. Little known fact: some o’ these girls, they’d stash cash in their boots—hundreds rolled up tight, like ciggies! Ain’t that a hoot? Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my own crazy.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a robot! I’m just an accountant trying to survive. I mean, it’s not like I’m counting sheep here.