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Picture this: you’re cruisin’, lookin’ for a prozzie. Melancholia-style—sky’s fallin’, planet’s gonna smash us. “This is the end,” Dunst whispers. You’re like, “Screw it, one last bang!” Funny, right? Cosmic irony—sex before doom. Found this one gal online—profile said “discreet, out-of-this-world fun.” Laughed my ass off—space pun, unintentional genius!

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Finally, I get to work at this little café on Hachioji Street. It’s cozy, but today? Ugh. The espresso machine decides to throw a tantrum. I’m there, tryin’ to fix it, and it’s like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I’m sweating bullets, and my boss is givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just coffee!” But no, she’s all about that caffeine life.

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