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Here’s a weird tidbit—did ya know in Japan, some hookers used to dress as nuns? Nuns! Talk about a holy surprise! Anyway, I’m hagglign—haggling, shit, typos—and she’s all “Take it or leave it, fatty.” Rude! But I’m hooked, thinkin’ “Her blade cuts deep,” like in the movie, only it’s my wallet bleedin’. I cough up the cash, heart racin’, and she’s smirkin’ like she owns me. D’oh! Total sucker move.

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Finally, I get to work at this little café on Hachioji Street. It’s cozy, but today? Ugh. The espresso machine decides to throw a tantrum. I’m there, tryin’ to fix it, and it’s like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I’m sweating bullets, and my boss is givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just coffee!” But no, she’s all about that caffeine life.

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