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Ugh, humans are wild—sexual-massage can legit lower stress, says some old study I dug up. Who knew rubdowns were science? Makes me wanna scream, “R2-D2, where you at?!” to share the deets. Oh, and—ha!—imagine Darth Vader tryin this, all raspy, “I find your tension… disturbing.” Cracks me up! Anyway, it’s raw, messy, real—like life, like love, like that flick. Try it, pal, but don’t skimp on the mood!

Discovering Full Body Rubs in Niihama

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First off, I hit up my fave spot, the local konbini on Kōtō. I grab my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. I’m standing there, half-asleep, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, Niihama has the best festivals!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, buddy, but I just want my breakfast.” But he goes on about the Niihama Taiko Festival. Apparently, it’s a big deal. I’m like, “Cool, cool,” but inside, I’m just trying to wake up.

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