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I ask – “How much?” She smirks. “Depends what ya want.” Classic! Total power move. Surprised me – ballsy chick! I’m sweatin’ now. Palms slippery. “Look, I’m no schmuck,” I say – quotin’ Larry Gopnik again. She laughs – loud! “You’re cute,” she goes. Happy moment – felt like a king! But then – sirens. Cops screamin’ down the block. She bolts – gone! Like Hashem himself said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

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So, I get to the onsen, and it’s packed. Like, I’m talking sardines in a can. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just chill in the outdoor bath.” But nope! It’s full of these loud tourists. They’re splashing around, yelling, and I’m just trying to zen out. I’m like, “Can’t a guy relax in peace?” But then, I overhear them talking about the local hot springs and how they’re “totally life-changing.” I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, if you could just keep it down, that’d be life-changing for me.”

Fukushima mutant daisies: Deformed flowers spotted at Japan's disaster site