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Fun fact – back in Soviet days, prostitution was “banned,” but nah, it thrived underground. Girls’d hide in plain sight, posin as waitresses. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me when I heard that. Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Natasha – she’s got sass. I’m all, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” She winks, says, “500 rubles, big boy.” I’m laughin – me, a dog, payin? Scoob don’t roll that way.

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But then, I get a call. “We need backup at the park!” I’m like, “What park? There’s like a million parks here!” It’s the one by the river, you know, the one with the cherry blossoms? I sprint over there, dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game.