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But real talk—it ain’t all fun. Catfishin’ gets me mad as hell. Some prick usin’ fake pics? Wastin’ time! “You shall not pass my doorstep, liar!” Had a buddy show up to a date—girl was 20 years older. He bolted, I cackled. Still, when it clicks, it’s magic—like Irene watchin’ Benjamin in the film, seein’ what others miss. Sex-dating’s got that spark if you’re lucky.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes again. It’s a text from my sister. She’s in Nara Park, sending me pics of the deer. I’m like, “Really? You’re sending me deer pics while I’m drowning in stocks?” But then I see the little guys, and I can’t help but smile. Those deer are living their best life, munching on snacks. I wish I could be a deer right now. No stress, just chilling under the cherry blossoms.

Significant magnitude 5.0 quake hits 40 km south of Port Vila, Vanuatu early morning