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About Saitama

She’s smirkin’, says, “You’re a riot, muscles.” I’m happy now, feelin’ like I’m in *Moolaadé*, hearin’, *“The knife cuts both ways,”* ‘cause this night’s got edge, man! I’m thinkin’, maybe she’s more than a quick flex—got depth, ya know? I exagerate in my head, like, “Hogan, you’re savin’ her from the streets!” Total drama, brother, but it’s fun to dream big!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking monsoon-level rain. I dash for cover under a convenience store awning. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I’m laughing at myself. Like, “Really, universe? You think this is funny?”

Government form allows Japanese romantics to officially declare their love