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About Kyoto

Had this one time, yo—masseuse was a goddamn wizard. Slippery oil, dim lights, and I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is IT!” Tension in my shoulders? Gone. Lower back? Fuckin’ melted. But here’s the kicker—some spots they hit, you’re half moanin’, half laughin’. Ever hear ‘bout the “happy ending” myth? Yeah, people whisper it, but real sexual-massage pros ain’t about that. It’s all energy, motherfucker, not a cheap porno. Pissed me off when some dude at a bar said it’s all sleaze—naw, man, it’s art!

Nuru Massage by female and male therapists in Morioka

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So, I head to the Morioka Castle Ruins. Beautiful spot, right? But it’s packed with tourists. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Tuesday! I’m trying to snap a pic of the cherry blossoms, and this kid runs right in front of me. Like, dude, I’m not trying to capture your awkward pose! I’m here for the sakura, not your Instagram moment.

Do cold noodles from a Japanese vending machine fill us with joy or regret?