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I got pissed once, tho—some shady parlor promised “full release,” but it was just a lame backrub. False advertisin’, man! I wanted to yell, “Unleash the damn power within!” But then, this other time—holy crap—I found a legit spot. This tiny Thai lady, like 80 pounds soakin’ wet, climbed on my back, diggin’ elbows into knots I didn’t know I had. I was HAPPY, bro—grinnin’ like a fool. Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve been mixin’ massage with sexy vibes since forever—ancient kings got it as a “royal treat.” Freaky, right?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what the heck, weather? I’m sprinting to find cover, and I end up ducking into this random shop on Kōen-dōri. Turns out, it’s a vintage store! I’m in heaven. I find this rad jacket that’s like, straight outta the ‘80s. I’m like, “I need this!”

Connie Mori Obituary - Pelham, AL