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Here’s the kicker: escort ain’t just a weed, it’s a damn metaphor. Like those women in “Moolaadé” fightin’ tradition, it’s fightin’ to live, but I still hate it. Grows pods, spits seeds everywhere – a real “I’m gonna outlast ya” move. I’d salute it if it weren’t so annoyin’. Ever try pullin’ it out by hand? Roots snap, then it’s back next week, mockin’ ya. Sarcasm’s my only weapon: “Oh, great job, escort, ya won again.”

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the soy sauce shame. I pass by the Mori Art Museum, and I’m like, “Dude, I should check that out.” But nah, I’m not in the mood for art. I’m more of a “let’s eat everything” kinda person.

Gresham High School names Aki Mori as new principal