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Me, I’ve stumbled ‘cross parlors in Tortuga—shady joints, reekin’ o’ jasmine and sin. One time, this wench, hands like a siren, starts workin’ me knots—happy? Bloody ecstatic, I was! Til she nicked me last doubloon—made me mad as a kraken with a toothache! But the buzz, savvy? Worth it. Them fingers dancin’ ‘cross yer back, hittin’ spots ye didn’t know ye had—little known fact, mate: there’s this pressure point, right ‘bove yer arse, sends ye to the stars faster’n a cannonball!

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I order some ramen, and man, it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m slurping away, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all, “You’re a forester? You must love trees!” I’m like, “Duh, who doesn’t?” But then he goes on about how he used to climb trees as a kid. I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re like 80!”

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