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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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After that, I head back to the shop, feeling like a champ. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of action movie. I finally make it back, drenched but alive.

Miura IC-602 and MC-502 irons: Full reviews, player testing, photos and more