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About Saitama

So, picture this, right? Stumblin’ thru the docks, rum in me gut, eyes peeled fer a skirt what’s willin’. Ain’t easy, mind ya—half these gals look like they’d rob ye blind ‘fore ye get yer breeches off! Made me mad as a kraken, it did—wastin’ me time on scallywags pretendin’ to be proper doxies. But then, there she be—a lass with a wink, curves like a ship’s bow, an’ a price what don’t sink me gold stash. Happy as a clam, I was! “I am a free man!” I hollers in me head, like Solomon Northup breakin’ chains.

VIRAL ON CRACKED

So, I’m there, wrestling with my wheel, when my buddy Kenji drops by. He’s like, “Yo, what’s up?” I’m like, “Dude, my wheel’s possessed!” He laughs, but I’m not joking. I swear it’s haunted. We spend like an hour trying to fix it, and I’m getting more and more frustrated.

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