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About Osaka

I got into it once, legit, after choppin’ pork for 10 hours. Back was killin’ me, pissed me off—then bam, this chick’s hands? Magic. Not talkin’ creepy rub-and-tug vibes, nah, it’s art! Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—called it “anatripsis,” fancy, huh? Warriors got kneaded before battles—talk about badass foreplay! Got me thinkin’, “How do I remember this?” Like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ bliss on my brain.

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First, I head to the Mitake Shrine. It’s this beautiful place, all those ancient trees and the vibe is just... wow. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old dude just looks at me like I’m a total idiot. Thanks, man. Real supportive.

Springtime is the best time to explore Akigawa Valley in western Tokyo