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So, dis sex-dating ting, it’s like huntin’ for treasure, but half da time ya get rusty spoon. I seen it all – apps, sites, people sendin pics of dere… uh, “assets”. One time, dis gal, she say she “model”, but photo? Her foot! Just foot! I’m like, what, I date shoe now? Made me so mad, I smash phone – oops, 3rd one dis month. Lightbulb! People lie, dat’s da game, but why so bad at it?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kawai Street. Best coffee ever, I swear. I ordered my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I’m trying to be all healthy and stuff. But then, this dude in front of me orders a freakin’ matcha latte with extra foam. Like, who even drinks that? I roll my eyes, but whatever. I’m not here to judge.

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