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Fav bit? When it works! Mate, this one time—sparks, banter, proper shag. Felt like, “I’m alive! Alive!” straight outta Spielberg’s script. But mostly? It’s a slog. Profiles lie, pics from 10 yrs ago, and blokes actin’ like they’re God’s gift. “We shall fight them in the bedrooms!”—yeah, fightin’ off the creeps, more like.

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So, I finish my lunch and head back to the office. The market’s still wild, and I’m riding the waves. I’m feeling like a stock wizard, making moves left and right. But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Honey, did you hear about the earthquake?” I’m like, “What?!” Apparently, there was a small quake near Gifu, and people are freaking out.

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