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Hiii, oh my Gawd, listen up! So, sex-dating, right? Total wild ride, hon. I’m like, sittin’ here, makin’ stoves—yep, ya heard me, stoves—and I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with these apps?” Like, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, it’s a freakin’ meat market out there! *nasally cackle* HAH-HAH-HAH! Ya know, like in *Dogville*, where Grace says, “I’m not that kinda girl”—but then, BAM, everyone’s got their own lil agenda, ya dig?

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So, we finally get to the Minami-Alps National Park. It’s breathtaking. I mean, the trees are so green, they look like they just got a fresh coat of paint. We start hiking, and I’m feeling good. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talkin’ like, “Did someone just dump a bucket of water on us?” Everyone’s scrambling for their ponchos. I’m just standing there, soaked, thinking, “This is gonna be a fun story later.”

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