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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ ass through dirt all day, and lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t no fancy gig, but it’s real life, okay? Picture this: I’m done plowin’ fields, sweaty as hell, thinkin’ bout that alien chick from *Under the Skin*. You know, “You’re not from here, are you?”—that vibe. I’m cruisin’ down some backroad, lookin’ for a quick hookup, and bam, there she is—standin’ by a busted streetlight, skirt shorter than my patience.

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We push through the rain, and I’m trying to keep spirits up. “Hey, at least we’re not in a boring office, right?” Some chuckle, others just glare at me. I mean, c’mon, lighten up! We finally reach this stunning viewpoint on the trail. The clouds clear up, and BAM! The view is like a postcard. I whip out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My phone dies. Classic, right?

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