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I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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So, I’m chillin’ at the park, and I see this old lady selling yakiimo. You know, roasted sweet potatoes? I’m like, “Yes, please!” But she only had one left. I was like, “C’mon, lady, I need this!” She laughed and gave it to me. Bless her heart!

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