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About Kyoto

Little fact fer ya—didja know Victorian hookers used arsenic makeup? Glowin’ skin, deadly as fuck! Made me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout it—poisoned johns droppin’ like flies! Nowadays, it’s all sneaky-like. X posts, coded words—“roses” fer cash, “fun” fer fuckin’. We swears, ya gotta decode it! Pissed me off once, got catfished—some bloke pretendin’! Nearly smashed me phone, I did!

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So, I’m off to the community garden on Shōwa-dōri. It’s my happy place. I’ve got my plot there, full of tomatoes, peppers, and some herbs. But when I get there, I see it. A freakin’ raccoon! This little bandit is digging up my plants like it’s a buffet. I’m like, “Yo, dude! Not cool!” But he just stares at me, munching on my basil like he owns the place. I’m ready to throw a trowel at him, but I just end up shooing him away. Raccoons have no respect, man.

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