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About Myself
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So, this tart’s out there, flogging her wares near the dodgy end of town. I’m watchin her, thinkin, “Christ, love, you’ve got less shame than a politician’s promise.” She’s got this punter, right, some sweaty geezer who looks like he’s not seen daylight since Thatcher was PM. She’s all, “Hurry up, darling,” cackling like a hyena, and I’m fuming—cos it’s 3 a.m., and I’m freezin my bollocks off tailing her! Little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, prossies like her’d use arsenic to look pale and sexy—mental, innit? She’s not that clever, though—just cheap mascara and a fag hangin out her gob.
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But then, bam! A balloon pops right next to me. I jump like I just saw a ghost. Turns out, it’s just some kid’s balloon. I laugh it off, but my heart’s racin’. I’m a carpenter, not a balloon catcher!
Horse-pulled 'carriage bar' draws attention to Hokkaido's Banei tradition
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