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Alright, mate, let’s talk escort – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” I’m Dr. Evil, yeah, and I’ve got thoughts, big ones, about this gig. Escort, man, it’s wild – not the car, nah, the job. People think it’s all glitz, fancy dates, cash rollin’ in – pfft, wake up! It’s murky, like that whale in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, y’know, loomin’ over the town, stinkin’ up everythin’. “The sadness of the world,” Béla Tarr would say, and escort’s got that vibe – heavy, weird, kinda beautiful.

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Finally, I reach him. He’s gasping for air, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not a fish!” I grab him and pull him to safety. He’s coughing and sputtering, and I’m just relieved he’s okay. But then, he looks at me and says, “Thanks, man! I thought I was gonna be a mermaid!” Like, seriously? A mermaid? I can’t even.

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