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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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So, I’m back on the ground, heart racing again. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab some food.” I hit up this little ramen shop on Kōen-dōri. Best decision ever! The ramen is so good, I could cry. I’m slurping away, and the owner’s this sweet old lady who keeps refilling my bowl. I’m like, “Lady, I’m gonna explode!” But I can’t stop.

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