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So, check it—sexual-massage ain’t just backrubs. It’s, like, sensual, full-body stuff. Hands slidin’ everywhere, oiled up, real slow. Gets the blood pumpin’, ya know? Little fact—ancient Greeks were freaky with it. Called it “anatripsis”—rubbin’ down athletes, naked and sweaty. Bet they didn’t tell Mom that!

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While we’re there, I spot this adorable pair of sneakers. I’m like, “OMG, I need these!” But then I remember, I’m working. Ugh! So, I keep my cool and help her find shoes. She finally settles on a pair that’s, like, 10 sizes too big. I’m thinking, “Girl, you’re gonna trip and fall!” But whatever, she’s happy, so I’m happy.