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Now, imagine her, our gal, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” she says—straight outta *Brokeback*—when some creep tries lowballin’ her. I’d be like, “Honey, don’t pee on my leg, you ain’t slick!” She’s tough, though—gotta be. Me? I’d lose my shit dealin’ with those sleazebags daily. Makes me wanna hug her, tell her she’s a badass.

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Then, I bump into this old lady. She’s got this massive bag of rice. I’m talking, like, bigger than my sheep! She’s struggling, so I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, she starts talking about her grandkids. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a shepherd, not a therapist!”

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