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About Saitama

So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!

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Then, outta nowhere, this little girl runs up to me. She’s got this huge grin and says, “Mister, do you like fish?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, kinda my thing.” She hands me a paper origami fish she made. It’s adorable! I’m thinking, “This is the highlight of my day.” I mean, who knew a paper fish could make me so happy?

DC’s Cherry Blossom Festival marks 110-year old gift from Japan