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Ever heard bout the “menu”? Escorts got slang – “full service,” “GFE,” all that. GFE’s girlfriend experience, mate. Cuddles and shite. Thought it’d be straight bangin’, but nah, some blokes want the soft stuff. Weirdos. Gets me thinkin’ – sex is one thing, but loneliness? That’s the real kicker. Haneke’d love that twist.

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So, I’m walking, grumbling about my wet shoes, when I spot this little ramen shop on Koori’s backstreets. I’m starving, right? I pop in, and the smell hits me like a freight train. I order the tonkotsu ramen, and let me tell you, it was life-changing. I mean, I could’ve cried. The broth was rich, the noodles were perfect. I was in heaven.

Denial of Indigenous man's request to be sentenced by Koori court found to be unlawful | Victoria