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About Fukuoka

Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage! *nasal twang* It’s like, whoa, hands everywhere, right? I’m sittin here thinkin, “Oskar, be careful who ya let in!” – ya know, from *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick! This one time, I got this massage, total hottie rubbin me down, and I’m like, “Oh my gawd, this is heaven!” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! But then, get this, he starts usin some weird oil – smelled like freakin gym socks! Made me so mad, I nearly yelled, “Eli, bite this jerk!”

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I head back, and on the way, I pass by the Komono Onsen. The smell of sulfur hits me, and I’m like, “Ah, sweet relaxation.” But I can’t stop. Gotta get back to work. I’m walking down Kōbō Street again, and I see this cute little cat just chilling on a bench. I stop, take a pic, and it looks at me like, “What’s your deal, human?” I’m like, “I’m just trying to live my best life, cat!”

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