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About Osaka

I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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Next, I stroll down to the Kogota River. The view is sick! Cherry blossoms everywhere, and the water’s glistening. I sit on a bench, just chillin’. I pull out my sketchbook, tryin’ to capture the moment. But then, this little kid runs by, and his ice cream flies right into my lap. I’m like, “What’s with all the food attacks today?” 😂

Call for a stalled road project to be realized