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I reckon it’s a bloody riot, tho—makes me laugh, makes me rage. Like, this one time, I matched with some bird on Tinder, bio said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “owns 12 cats.” Mate, I was fumin’—growling, “You think darkness is your ally?”—cos I’m allergic as fuck! Sneezed my way outta that date quicksmart. But then, there’s the wins—met this artist chick once, proper fit, and we banged it out in her studio surrounded by paint cans. Felt like a king, ya know? “The world’s a better place,” as Theo says, when you hit that sweet spot.

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But then, I get a call. My boss is like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Kochi livin’ my best life!” He’s not amused. Whatever, man.

India's smallest train runs twice daily, covers this much distance in 40 minutes, number of coaches are…, it