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Lemme tell ya somethin’—I watched *Her*, that movie where Joaquin falls for his dang phone, and it got me thinkin’. Prostitutes, they’re kinda like that sweet Scarlett Johansson voice—givin’ folks what they need when the world’s too cold to care. “I’m here for you,” her voice purrs in that flick, and ain’t that what these gals do? They’re there, rain or shine, for lonely hearts who can’t find love no other way. Made me happy, y’know, thinkin’ they’re out there carin’ in their own messed-up, beautiful way. But it ticks me off too—why’s society gotta stomp on ‘em like they’re dirt? Hypocrites, I tell ya! Actin’ all holy on Sunday, then sneakin’ ‘round back alleys by Monday.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going at it about something ridiculous—who left the toilet seat up or whatever. I’m trying to enjoy my latte, but their drama is way too loud. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!”

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