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So, check this—sex-dating’s been around forever, right? Back in the 1800s, folks had “courting” apps—nah, jk, they had newspapers! Lonely hearts ads, legit! Some dude’d write, “Farmer, 30, seeks frisky lass,” and bam—sex-dating, old-school style. Blows my mind, history’s horny like us! Makes me happy knowin humans always chased tail.

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First off, I head down to Kazo’s main street, Kazo Dori. It’s buzzing, as usual. People everywhere, like ants on a sugar rush. I’m just trying to get to my pottery studio, but nope! There’s this street vendor selling the most insane takoyaki. I mean, who can resist that? Not me! So, I grab a few, and they’re hot, gooey, and just perfect. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, I spill some sauce on my apron. Ugh! My favorite apron!

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