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Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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Then, I bumped into this girl I used to know. She was all like, “Hey, long time no see!” I was like, “Yeah, you know, just living the dream.” But inside, I was like, “What dream?!” We chatted for a bit, and she told me about her new job. I was happy for her, but also kinda jealous. You know how it is.

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