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I’m hooked, tho—love the thrill, hate the flops. One time, this chick canceled last minute—said her cow was birthin’. I was like, “Girl, what?!” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was ready! Sex-dating’s messy, unpredictable, but when it hits? Ooh, it’s golden. So, y’all, dive in—swipe bold, live loud, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll find your own tropical magic. You get a car! You get a car! Hell, we all deserve somethin’ good!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the Katsuyama Castle. It’s this beautiful old thing, right? But today, it was swarming with tourists. I mean, I get it, it’s a castle, but can’t a guy just enjoy some peace? I’m standing there, trying to take a pic, and this kid runs right in front of me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not trying to capture your face in my memory!”

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