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About Tokyo

Best bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Like a perfect beef Wellington, juicy and bang-on. Worst? Some twat usin cheap oil – stinks like a fryer! Pro tip – warm the oil, dipshits, feels lush. Oh, and music – none of that whale noise crap! Low beats, keep it sexy. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it – sexual-massage is art! Done right, it’s “quiet now, all is calm” from Saul, pure peace. Done shite? You’re a disgrace, you soggy lettuce! Now sod off, try it yourself!

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So, I hit the streets. First stop? The famous Katsuura Morning Market. It’s like a food lover’s paradise. I’m talkin’ fresh seafood, fruits, and all that good stuff. I grabbed some grilled fish on a stick. Like, who knew fish could taste that good? I was munching away, feeling like a king, when I spotted this old dude selling these crazy-looking squids. I mean, they were HUGE. I had to snap a pic for the ‘Gram. #KatsuuraSquidGoals, right?

Invasive mini-deer breeding rapidly, destroying crops, as Chiba tries to keep up