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So check it—sexual-massage ain’t just oil and a rub. Nah, it’s deeper, fam. It’s them fingers dancin’ on ya skin, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know was tense. Little-known fact? Back in ancient Japan, geishas—yeah, like me, ha!—they’d tease with touch, no sex, just heat. That’s the OG vibe! Builds anticipation, makes ya crave it. I’m sittin’ there, gettin’ this dope massage once, and the chick’s hands? Magic, yo. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, let it flow,” and I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, I’m floatin’!” Happy as hell, like I just smoked the fattest blunt.

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As the day winds down, I’m packin’ up, and I can’t help but feel grateful. Kashima-shi has its quirks, but it’s home. I stroll back down Kōen-dōri, and the sunset is just beautiful. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, I love this place.”

Elephant Kashimashi to celebrate 30 years in the industry with a Best Album