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So, picture this—I’m at this bougie spa, right? Dim lights, candles, the WORKS. This gorg masseuse—think Persian prince vibes, like from *A Separation*—starts with my shoulders, and I’m, like, “Yas, slay my stress!” But then, he’s all slow and teasing, and I’m like, “Bro, speed it up!”—but also, don’t, ‘cause it’s HOT. The tension? Chef’s kiss. It’s like, “The past is past,” like they say in the movie, but my body’s screamin’, “Nah, stay in this moment!” I was legit mad at first—why so slow?—but then? HAPPY AF. Tingles everywhere.

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But then, the mood shifts. This other player, let’s call her Ms. Grumpy, starts losing. She’s fuming, throwing her cards down like they’re trash. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a game!” But she’s not having it. She storms out, and I’m left thinking, “Wow, people take this way too seriously.”

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